Sunday, January 13, 2013

I'm Not Crazy - My Mother Had Me Tested

One of my favorite shows is The Big Bang Theory.  It is well-written, and I often laugh out loud (really) at some of the unexpected things Sheldon Cooper says. ("It's ON, bitch!")

I find Sheldon's determination to adhere to a self-imposed schedule entertaining.  Sheldon has laundry night, pizza night, comic book night, and vintage video game night, among others.  Similarly, Sheldon has bus pants, elaborate disaster planning, and even a napkin plan.  These things are designed to mitigate risk and impose structure, which presumably makes him more comfortable in life.

This was all just entertainment until I started to notice (to a lesser degree, surely!) that I have similar tendencies.  I tend to embrace the sameness that seems to keep me in my comfort zone.  While I don't have bus pants, I do make every effort to park in the very same area of the parking deck, if not spot, every day.  While I don't have laundry night, there is a point in the week that if this task hasn't been completed, I'm sure that the end of times is near.  I don't have a disaster plan, but I take great comfort in knowing what exactly I will do if there's a roof leak, or a broken pipe. I've even gone so far as to quiz the vet on what happens if my beloved Snickers comes to the end of her life on a Sunday!

This sounds mostly reasonable, until I think of some of the ways I limit myself.  Spare work, I only travel when accompanied by certain, select people.  I'm not a "joiner", so I'm sure to see if attendees of a particular event are familiar prior to accepting an invitation.  The idea of going to a restaurant or movie solo is incomprehensible. Based on the parameters I've assigned to stay in my comfort zone, I now spend large spans of time at home, where I can completely control my surroundings.

My sister pointed out recently that I over-plan and over-think everything and that there are just some things I need to stop thinking about and just DO. In theory, I agree with her, but somewhere in the back of my head, there's a voice saying, "That's just short-sighted! What if....".

All this said to say that while I don't buy in to resolutions, it wouldn't kill me to wage a campaign (in baby steps) to become more social, adaptable, and less fearful in 2013.  I'll let you know how that goes.

PS: That reminds me; I need to check on those plane tickets I booked last August for my May trip to Iowa.  Surely planning ahead can't be all bad, right?

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